Lost.
Sunday, February 16, 2014 @ 9:32 PM


Bonjour to you, the one that reading this. So I end up here, on my old dusty blog. It was my second semester here at UiTM Seri Iskandar. I'm turning 19 on September 2014. Time flies really fast, don't they? It feels like yesterday was my last day at SMK Saint Thomas, sekolah aku yang terchenta. Sadly it's not. Realizing that Afieq turning 17 this year and will take his SPM examination this year makes me feel so old. I mean, the last time I was with him, he was being funny and pretty cute childish little boy that makes me happy, but now, he's growing a beard and moustache ( maybe ) . I barely know him. He might forget about me. Well, I'm the only one who keep thinking about that baka-kid ( baka = stupid in japanese ) . He didn't even contact me once, the last time I had a fight ( again ) with him on Twitter and my heart breaks ( again ) . What do I expect from a long-distance relationship ? I knew this will happen but I was too stupid 'cause I didn't get ready for this. And of course, Daus also will be taking his SPM. Awww :( I really miss to lepak-lepak with him. I'm really gonna do it when I get back to Kuantan on my sem break ( estimated 4 weeks from now ) . And of course, Fu ! He's struggling at Matrix Gopeng, Perak . I really wish he'll get 4 flat! I know that he can do it. But it's pretty sad 'cause we didn't chat or talk or meet that much. Just like we were at high school. Well, this is what will happen when you continue your studies way far from home and everyone. This is what everyone will experience once or more in their lifetime. Hm. It's sad, to be honest. Recently I was keep sending a good morning and good night messages to Afieq through WeChat . Well I guessed he don't even read it or maybe block me . But I don't care .

Why I didn't move on? The reason sounds stupid but I didn't move on 'cause I love him and I feel happy when I was with him. I don't know, I just like being with him. And also, I can't really move on because everytime I was trying to do it, all his words, all his promises just came out in my mind and I can't get over it. In the end, I was here, keep on waiting, wishing that everything gonna be alright. Yes, I sounds desperate but that what will you do for someone who you think it's worth to keep. IF it's not, well it will be a lesson to me. I just want like before, we were having fun all the time. You said forever. How long is your forever? This is the only things that keep bothering me. I really wish I can meet someone who can take my hand and get out from all this mess. I'm sad, i'm alone and I miss him. Bye. :(